Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this through to the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the sweetness of the afternoon (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Before me, is the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. An orange sunny sky looms above. A bright bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I really could observe how easy it should be to be so trapped in the events of my life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views may be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events that have occurred inside our past and our fears about the long run blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that people often times don't notice how blue is the sky or green will be the trees approximately white is the bikini. Our bodies might physically maintain the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to trust our responses to recent events are based on present feelings when in fact they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't see that drama keeps us in the situation of the past in our present. Kept limited by our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we could study from new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
A dilemma is a deep and very personal story of what the "event" supposed to us. It is an engineered story of the "what is" by giving the "what is" a personal meaning. An illustration: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a sports vehicle races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The truth of "what is" is that someone is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The private story or drama which you created at that moment may be "What a jackass! He must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not just a adequate driver. Now we take the function personally. Another reality: your spouse walks away from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I'll just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we could "grow" away from drama is to recognize the difference between what's reality and what's drama. The reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I got divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason, we make up of how the function affects us and what it way to our lives (My boss is a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to create meaning in everything that occurs inside our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what's reality and what's fiction and then just accepting the function since it is (I no more have a job) with no drama.
I am aware easier said then done. Sometimes it's in the story and the personal meaning behind it which makes life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in an endless cycle, the function never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even with years of the original occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me right away in the future must mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to grow into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at age it's occurrence.
The dramas inside our lives are manufactured by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the true issues. We arrive at awaken from the drama once we accept the fact we have the greatest capacity to turn around our lives. When we have the ability to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to produce a positive spin for a passing fancy event. Change the idea and emotions into something positive which will empower us and inspire others and in turn we arrive at take back control inside our lives. By accepting the function as what it is will free us from the emotional bond since it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be done by writing out a set of what's happening without attaching the emotions related to it. In case of losing a job your list might include:
1. I have already been fired
2. I no more have a job
3. I will need to find a new job
4. I have no income
5. I've little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The facts have presented itself in ways that you can address each issue to create solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will allow you to detach from the drama so you will have a way to see your life separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel some other observer in the events enabling you to effectively, clearly and without the judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is among the big creeds that allow its members to better handle their lives. Inside, it states: "Acceptance is the solution to any or all my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is really because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable if you ask me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation to be exactly the way it is supposed to be as of this moment."
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